I only have the ability to push the self destruct ‘button’

No one can do it for me.

Tired of keeping things to myself hence I came back to this blog but then again this isn’t going to help me either ?

One whole year of frustration inside me. One whole year of suffering. What do I write ? And where do I start ?

I had a few people I could share my issues with. There was this one person though, who I could tell everything to but after that person stopped caring and when I realized that she also had stopped ‘listening’ I was so demoralized. I became so weak and dejected…The situation was agonizing. I couldn’t accept it, I mean.. If she didn’t have the time to listen anymore or care anymore what could I possibly expect from others? 


And that was that. I think that was third, not to mention my last ‘heartbreak’ and… I died. 

I don’t blame her. She too is a human being, she got busy with things, she found new people/friends. Better ones… I guess. 

Now, I’m just at a point in my life where even when people ARE willing to listen I can’t share ‘cause I think whatever happened before will happen again ?

I don’t … think it will happen again. I know it will. 

That’s how it’s always been, isn’t it ?

She said, ‘if I can’t love myself how can I possibly love someone else?’